


I miss you

by princessdandelion



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessdandelion/pseuds/princessdandelion
Summary: All the times I miss you, and the one time I hope you miss me too.





	

I miss you when I’m hungover.

You used to make me coffee, and hold me until the room would stop spinning. You’d kiss my forehead, and whisper that it would be okay. I’d say I was sorry, and promise that it would never happen again, and you’d naively believe me. Until the next morning, when you’d have to do it all again. Is that why you left?

I miss you when I’m angry.

You hated it when I was angry, sometimes I would tell you to leave. But you always came back when I called you. Your body would wrap itself around mine, you’d kiss me a thousand times. And you'd spend the rest of the night in my lap, holding my arms tightly around you and apologizing. Not knowing, it was never you. It was always me. Until one day, you didn’t come back, and that was the day I realized I needed you.

I miss you at dinner time.

Music would fill the air when you cooked, you’d dance and sing in the kitchen. You looked so happy. On our good days, I would join you, and we’d dance until dinner was burnt, but we didn’t care. We would sing until our neighbors would knock on the door and tell us to stop. On the bad days, I’d tell you to shut up, and tears would appear in your eyes and instead of love and music filling the air in our apartment there would be tense resentment. I would let you play music all day, and I would dance with you forever if it meant that you’d come back. Will you?

I miss you when I’m alone

When the drugs are wearing-off, and the alcohol no longer burns, I’m alone with my thoughts and there is no you to make it all go away with your smile and reassuring words. I’d never touch any of it again if you came back. 

I miss you when I’m in a room full of people.

I used to show you off to everyone, I was so proud that I was yours and you were mine. I’d tell everyone we were soul mates. Everyone knew you belonged to me, no one else could touch you, you were mine. Until the day I stopped holding your hand, and kissing you in public. When I thought, I didn’t care about you, and I thought you didn’t care about me. But you always did. Your hands always found mine, and your place was always in my lap until I pushed you away. I want to be the only one to hold you tightly when were in a room full of people. I think I’d die if I saw anybody else holding you like I used to.

I miss you when I’m drunk.

There’s none to keep track of my drinks, and make sure I didn’t hurt myself or others. There's no one to stop me from doing more lines, or taking whatever was handed to me. You never cared about yourself, I can't remember the last time you got drunk. Or did drugs. You let me push you around, and yell at you, so I wouldn’t do it to anyone else. You knew when to take me home, and you’d feed me anything you found in our kitchen to lessen my pain the next day. But I never cared enough to appreciate what you did but I’d care if you were mine again.

I miss you when I wake up next to someone that’s not you.

No one can replace you in bed. We were always in sync with each other, even the hazy drunken nights when we could barely walk, our sex was still amazing. You taught me more about sex and love than anyone else has in my entire life. No one else is you. They can’t please me the way you always did. . No one has a body as warm as yours. Your warm body was always entangled with mine, even when I’d yell at you, and make you cry. No one else wakes me up with kisses trailing down my body, and gentle touches all over. But I also don’t want anyone to do that, only you.

I miss you when there’s a storm.

I don’t like storms. You’d hold me, and tell me stories about your childhood, and I’d always promise to take you swimming in the river, and I’d promise to take you on romantic dates but I never did. And maybe that’s why I lost you.

I miss you when I see your fake smile

You have a smile was always reserved for me, it was my smile. No one else can make you smile like that. I see you smile in photos but that’s not my smile. I would whisper in your ear and tell you that I loved you, and you would give me a smile that was brighter than a thousand light bulbs, the pain in your eyes would sink away, until only love and adoration filled them. If I could, I’d make you smile like that every day for the rest of my life. 

Do you miss me?  
You still check in on me, I know you do. Everyone tells me you ask about me, and how I am. But do they tell you that I yearn for you, your touch and your love? No. They say I’m fine, but without you, I can never be fine. You call me, but hang up when I answer. You sometimes send food to our house to make sure I’m eating. And yes, it's still our house. You text me daily to tell me to take care of myself, but I want to take care of you like I used to. 

  

And that’s why I’m here, I miss you.  
Please tell me you miss me too.


End file.
